有年轻人问我：如果情侣婚前不一起同居，就没办法真正了解对方的性格和生活习惯；那是不是连出门旅行也要分房？为什么基督徒这么死板？
其实，基督徒不是死板，而是因为我们把性关系看作神所设立、极其神圣的恩赐。性不是随意的，而是留给我们一生中最至爱、最亲密的那一位配偶。
你可以想想这个问题：如果你结了婚，你是否愿意你的配偶和其他人发生性关系？答案几乎肯定是“不愿意”。为什么？因为你知道，性代表完全的交付，是深度身心灵的结合，是只属于你们两人的神圣盟约。
所以我们基督徒拒绝婚前性行为或同居，并不是因为保守或传统，而是因为我们相信：性是神所赐、专属于婚姻的圣洁礼物。
我再打一个比方。如果你是一位女生，现在有两个男生追求你。一个曾经与好几个伴侣同居和发生性行为，而另一个则选择在婚姻之前守身如玉，为未来的妻子保留自己。请问你会更信任哪一位能成为你未来忠实、可靠的丈夫？
同样的，如果你是一位男生，现在有两个女生吸引你的注意力。一个过去频繁更换伴侣，倾向于在关系中先占有，再决定是否委身；另一个则选择为她未来的丈夫守洁，珍惜自己的身体，并愿意将最亲密的部分只献给所爱之人。请问，你会更愿意把一生托付给哪一位，成为你忠贞、敬虔的妻子？
我们这个世界很喜欢用“试试看”、“住住看”的方式处理关系，好像婚姻之前也需要试用期。但你有没有想过：当你用“试试看”的态度去对待一个人，其实你并不是真的准备好去为对方付上完全的承诺、责任与代价。
真正的爱，是愿意为对方等候，也为对方守洁。真正的委身，是在婚约中彼此交托，而不是先占有、再决定要不要留下或适不适合。
所以，当一个男人愿意为爱等候多年，在婚姻中第一次与妻子建立性关系，他能坦然地对妻子说：我这一生只认识一个女人的身体，那就是你。这是对婚姻最深的尊重，也是对爱情最真的承诺。
性，不是随便可以分享的。它原本是神所设立的祝福，是为婚姻中最亲密的合一而预备的神圣礼物。
english translation below
A young person once asked me, “If couples don’t live together before marriage, how can they truly understand each other’s personality and habits? Does that mean couples should stay in separate rooms even when traveling? Why are Christians so old-fashioned and rigid?”
In truth, Christians are not being old-fashioned or rigid. Instead, we regard sexual intimacy as a sacred gift established by God. Sex is not something casual or experimental—it is designed to be shared exclusively with the one person we love most deeply, within the covenant of marriage.
Let me ask you this: if you were married, would you be okay with your spouse being sexually involved with someone else? Nearly everyone would say no. Why? Because deep down, we know that sex represents complete personal commitment. It is a deep union of body, mind, and spirit, exclusively reserved for two people in a holy covenant.
This is why Christians choose not to engage in premarital sex or live together before marriage. It’s not due to being conservative or traditional, but because we believe sex is a sacred gift from God, exclusively reserved for marriage.
Consider this example: imagine you’re a woman pursued by two men. One has lived with multiple partners and been sexually active before marriage. The other has chosen to wait and remain pure, keeping himself for his future wife. Which one would you trust more to be faithful and dependable in a lifelong relationship?
Likewise, if you’re a man and you’re drawn to two women—one who has had many previous partners and tends to become physically involved before commitment, and another who has chosen to protect her purity, waiting to give herself only to the one she truly loves—who would you feel more confident entrusting your life to as a faithful and godly wife?
Our culture often tells us to “try things out,” to “test the relationship” before commitment, as though marriage needs a trial period. But have you ever considered that if you approach a relationship with a “let’s see if it works” attitude, you’re not really prepared to give full commitment, responsibility, or sacrifice?
True love is willing to wait. It values purity—for the sake of the other. Real commitment is found within marriage, where two people fully entrust themselves to each other rather than first possessing and then deciding.
Therefore, when a man faithfully waits, honoring God with his body, and on his wedding night joins with his wife for the first time, he can say with integrity, “In my entire life, I have known only one woman’s body—and it is yours.” This expresses the deepest respect for marriage and the most genuine commitment to love.
Sex is not something to be shared lightly. It is a holy gift, created by God for the most intimate union within marriage—a sacred bond of love and lifelong trust.